Monday, July 1, 2019

The Last Duke Of Kentucky(pg. 7)


     "Damn, this clunker weighs a ton, and this ain't the Dukes of Hazzard's General Lee or the Batmobile, you'll never make it!" I said directly to this idiot who thought he was Evel Knievel all of the sudden, and I looked back the gals chuckled with me, " And if you're going to try it, let me and these gals out of harm's way!" 
     We all laughed at this insanity but somehow in the back of my mind this boy wasn't all there because he truly thought he could make this seemingly difficult jump, in reality, jumps of this magnitude are methodically thought through that required special ramps and most cars like General Lee had special weights or tonnage in the trunk to keep the tail-end from nosing over and not mentioning the special tires. In the show Dukes of Hazzard, after each long jump General Lee made, most of the Dodges were retired to scrapyard due to structural damages.
     "Ok man, I was just joking," Joey said, as I made a breathing sigh thanking God.
     I knew though this boy truly thought he could make this jump without any prior experience, he had that determination on his face, you can't hide stupidity and ignorance, it's written all over their faces, for a time soon expires for the greenhorns and brass idiots.
     "Hand that bottle to me," I said as I took a swig and it burned like gasoline down my throat.
     "We're out of gas almost," Joey said, he truly was a bum, why I found anything in this boy is a complete joke.
     "Hey, give me a drink, ya think I'm a fish?" Blurted out one of the sweeties in the rear seat, with her legs spread all over the back seat.
     "Here ya go honey," as I handed her that half-emptied bottle.
     We left town and we stopped at this little country store to fill up with gas, twenty bucks back then got yourself plenty of fuel. I bought a case of beer also and had plans to take these gals to some hotel afterward and they seem compliant too. We rode around for about 3 hours on the backroads in these majestic hills of Kentucky, but Joey was getting hammered, and I sure didn't want to go to jail, so we headed to Springfield where hotel rooms were very affordable since it was such a small town on the outskirts of nowhere people rarely stayed there, but that twenty mile trip saved myself twenty bucks in room fare. 

                                                                 7

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