The Long Road Back

The morning started with an old Christmas song,
as I stared back into the looking glass of time, 
the wear of memories covered now with frost and fog,
though a song beckoned me back to this recollection,
the long glorious road to my childhood,
now, vacant as travelers to a cemetery,
though a reprise and a simple song captures
a momentary reminiscence of that very day,
yet, softening the dire pain becomes inconsolable;
why upon the Holidays? 
I ask again, why did you commit suicide on New Year's Eve? 
On December of that day, I walked away forever,
swore to me- myself the privilege to jettison all memories,
yet, the jetsam of ruth always returns to the shorelines of December,
and with it the pandora box of everlasting grief, 
I can't deflect the crushing blow of remembrance,
futility abides no laws, 
we only relinquish tears when the song, 
Auld Lang Syne ends another chapter of your absence. 

- John Hardesty