“The Sadness Will Last Forever.”

    

Sitting in a death chair at the Cleveland Cancer 

Center whilst my body is being pumped with platinum 

grade-A poison. The six hours of infusion will

commence this stupor of compounding banality, 

like Lennon’s A Day In The Life, with its ushering

and heightening symphony, I laugh to keep from

crying, warding off the melancholy with my humor.

The withdrawn looks of other cancer victims immediately 

suffocates any advantageous thoughts you conjure to 

ease the discomfort of dying. The book I've brought

to attempt to peruse this six-hour marathon never moves

pass the first page, every thought is ambushed by no

collective attention, my mind fidgets like a 6-year-old kid

with ADHD, can't find that entrance to presume. 

   The spark-up conversations are often mumbled 

soliloquies, for no one wants to waste their inviable 

energy on meaningless confabulations.  Less energy 

is the by-product of Chemo, they bake you outside

with radiation and cook you inside with this

Chemo-anti-freeze. 

Yet, I dispose of any negative potency, I won’t 

let the death salesman in today. Cancer is the 

Hall of Fame of diseases, cancer is the deadly 

Champion. 

I press my luck with each passing nurse who 

flaunts her delicate frame near me, my subtle

sexual innuendos may be flat-lining but I'm 

not dead yet. 

Fear is the host of anxiety, and entertains 

an agglomerate of distress. Hold your line,

don't budge, and never give up. So many 

just surrender and head to their graveyards. 

Not me, I'm a gambler, and I'm riding on

this 100-1 shot all the way. 

Xiao Zai

 

Avoid distress; forlorn hope, 

threadbare of loneliness, even 

Icarus’ boldness, jubilation, and 

carelessness bedeviled his own ego. 

Take heed in all dangers, for they

lurk with bows nocked and arrows

arced, life seldom grants reprieves,

there's no escaping Daedalus’ Labyrinth, 

the circles of death go round and round, 

there's only one way out, and the stubborn

Man squanders his life thinking his days are 

many, yet, his mind torpor with dementia, and

Death is the master, again and again, time hides

in the shadows away from the light, slowly creeping 

and catching up on your sundown, there within 

your vacant body no breath shall render evermore. 

 

Where insults breach propriety, and 

inflamed barbs constitute an eye

for a black eye, 

Warrantless

 

Hover around your heart

in a no-flying zone. I want 

to pounce on your soul like

a playful tiger. Wandering in

your wonderland, trespassing 

upon your liberties. You pay

no tariffs upon declining. My 

lips negotiate all the risks and 

my tongue is the subtle weapon 

of submission. The dripping 

ephemeral lasts longer than the 

dying ignominy. We laugh at 

each other’s idiosyncracies 

like children, yet love like we’re 

eternal soulmates. In dying, you

remember these mind trinkets of

lost intimacies and reliving them 

you die twice. 

Hayley

When worlds collide and you're alone facing death, remember this, you're a star that will shine

on forever. Thank you for your patience and kindness. 

Addendum: Tell ole Freddie I miss him, and his wisdom! 

 

Jana

 Whenever you're in the presence of astounding wit, you know you're standing knee-deep in shit. 

Thanks for being so kind to me. 

Dr.

 

I know you don’t know me from a head of Jerusalem artichoke but I wanted to let you know I truly appreciate your wisdom, guidance, and encouragement. Thank you. 

Sincerely, John