Timing

 

  Timing is everything in life, just ask a swatted fly. 

- Lord Piddlepuck 

I stumbled on a memory, 

And tripped on regret, 

Trying to replace a feeling

Of someone I'll never forget.

Dr. Higgins

 

Dr. Higgins, 

I truly thank you for the blessing you performed. I truly mean that! Somehow, someway, you brought a poiesis into my life. You have an exceptional gift, I think the Koreans call “nunchi” and that's the art and gift to gauge and listen to others’ moods. I wonder if God can find my soul beneath the earth among the trillions of bones scattered from hence and hither beyond the abyss? And will He forgive me of all my sins and guilt? This morbid acatalepsy never escapes me. 

But, on a good cheer, Merry Christmas! 

You're my Hero. 

John Hardesty 

Asshole

 

You don't need a permit or a license to be an asshole. 

Comedy

I was reminiscing about the time I was married to my beautiful wife.  We were both kneeling at the altar, and I had the whitest of white pants on, and of course, she was lovely, and all morning long, my stomach was rolling. My bowels sounded like reverberating sounds echoing in the deep chasms of the Grand Canyon. I had one episode after another of fighting back this watery diarrhea that finally exploded in my white trousers while facing the wedding guests at my wedding. When those boughs broke from the dam it sounded like Niagara Falls after a surging Spring storm, the sight of my immaculate white pants filled with carmel colored diarrhea was the earliest exit of any wedding I have witnessed. Even the preacher snuffed me out, as the streak of shit just kept coming, and I'm standing there pretending nothing is happening and hoping my underwear was holding back this tsunami. Still, they’re drenched like a fireman’s noodle. And when it was time to say our vows, I said, “I already did!” 

Jijivisha

 

Hardesty Humor

 

A Christmas tableau disclosure: I prefer the game Russian roulette with my family members! 😆