Monday, February 15, 2021

The Sun Doesn’t Shine On The Past

 

The decadence roars past the century, 

the only thing that changed in the city, 

was the innovation of models on automobiles;

brick and mortar still cling to the hundred-storied high-rise, 

the lasting remnant of an era of sophistication, literature, 

and Jazz, 




Friday, February 5, 2021

A Letter To Mrs. H.

 

Dear Mrs. H.

                        Where do I begin? First, it’s barely months since Larry’s death, and my covenant with his passing still hasn’t settled with me, I loved Larry, he was a humbled philosopher, who loved his family more than anything on earth, and misery seems to arch those deathly arrows with marksman-grief to the ones who loved him so much. I’m so very sorry Mrs. Hamilton.

                        We waddle for the reasons like the blind man who grabbles around for the walls, not knowing noon from midnight; this desolation is madness, it roars like the savaged lion yet mourns like a fragile dove to understand why God would do such an atrocity toward a family who're the kindest people on the planet? 

                         I hope, Mrs. Lady Hamilton, you know I loved Larry and you, and your boys, Blaine and Patrick are my dearest brothers, Drew boy and Matthew too. Life is filled with so many questions and doubts, it drives me insane to even attempt to unravel all the mysterious and strange occurrences that befall us and great people like the Hamilton Family. 

                        I owe Blaine so much, my dog Archie, who’s 13, and for whom I love so much, is the greatest gift Blaine ever gave me. It’s funny how little creatures bring huge joy. Life’s a thin line of departure and arrival, one exits and another enters, the log of life. 

                         Mrs. Hamilton, I’m so sorry, due to this Covid scare, I didn’t attend Larry’s funeral, and last year we lost two of my most dearest cousins- David Ray(Stingray) Hardesty and Laurie Settles Snellen, who we never buried with honor, all due from Covid, I hate funerals so much, I don’t attend them anymore, even though I did see Dwayne Hutchins’ funeral a few years ago. As I grow older the fear of death drapes over me like a hallow chain around my throat, I lost my way, hope, and faith many times, questioned God’s existence beyond any recompense of explanation, because why would a loving, caring, and respectful God hurt a great beautiful family like The Hamilton Family? Why? Why? Why?

                           Mrs. Lady Hamilton I’m so sorry, I loved Larry, I wanted you to know and your family, and congratulations on the newest future member, Blaine is a blessed man, father, and husband, I hope those kids keep you busy from your grief. God bless you all, I love the Hamilton Family.  


                          Sincerely,                          


Addendum:  Life’s cup is so enjoyable when runneth over with joy but, when the cup empties and the last drop’s a taste of grief and sadness is where resentment settles amongst the grounds of bitterness then all becomes humanity’s tragic anecdote of defeat. I owe the Hamilton Family so much more than a few contemporary words, far more. I know the loss of a dear father well, my father committed suicide when I was 21. God bless the Hamilton Family.

The Mornings Are Hell

The mornings bring their misery and reassurance  of my life’s decline, hollow the marrow of life, empty the cup of hope and filled the plate...